“Hello, I’m Eddie Murphy and I’m here to tell you the importance of a good education. I’m 20 years old and a high school graduate. I studied at Nassau community college for about two weeks. I have no formal theatrical training whatsoever yet I’m one of the stars of the new Saturday Night Live. I also make more in a week than most white people make in a year. Which leads me to the conclusion that in 1981 a good education is just as important as a warm bucket of hamster vomit. That’s right, all you white kids in school are wasting your sweet precious time because life is luck. You’re either lucky or you’re a bum from the beginning. So stop kidding yourself, drop out. Go have some fun, drink some beer. Get each other pregnant and play Space Invaders. You know, you white kids take life so seriously. Quit school and be successful like me.”

Sammy: Excuse me Mr. Murphy, your limousine’s waiting.

Eddie Murphy: Thanks Sammy. Sammy went to Harvard.