Try building and keeping boundries. You should also prioritise yourself and your well being. I’ve honestly been targetted by them and they tried ruining my life (doxing, calling my employer, etc).

if someone is abusing you or not respecting your boundries, block that person and cut them out of your life. It will be hard but worth it in the long run.

try not to mix friend groups. This will make it harder for the person to manipulate you through mutuals.

i’ve noticed that there’s a lot more of these kinds of people online. I think you’d find it safer to interact with people in person if possible.

I hope this helps.

I wish I could remember where I read it, but I do remember reading either an article or paper that laid out that when people are victimized, other abusers tend to be able to spot that somehow. Something about body language and it’s all subconscious.

I don’t have the answer here except to just build a shell and be a dick for a while, but I do want to say I am genuinely sorry you have to deal with that. Always being the victim or always putting on a mask is fucking exhausting and soul draining.

I know my weakness is my emotional depth. I keep protections in place mentally with a zero tolerance policy of trust. Like if my boss or coworker cheats on their partner, I know I will never trust that person or their character/ethics. The concept is one of the few that I retain from my religious past: “faithful in little; faithful in much.” Any person that shrugs off little lies or dishonesty is revealing their true ethics or lack there of. I do not try to hide who I am or lie about anything intentionally. Therein lies my lack of depth. I am unaware of how people filter and mask who they are in intentional ways, so anyone that shows harmful potential is someone I avoid and never trust more than is convenient or that I am forced.