One time when I was in highschool, I was having those flashbacks. Memories of things I said that made me cringe. So I decided in order to stop creating more of those, I would keep quiet as much as possible. I’d only talk when someone talks to me.
The next day a classmate had a fight with his friend and switched places to sit next to me. I kept my rule and only spoke when spoken to. It was awkward silence the whole day. By the end I saw him moving back to sit with his old friend.
“I thought you were with droning_in_my_ears?”
“I tried, but he doesn’t say anything!”
Damn. Could’ve made a new friend. That’s when I decided better cringe than boring and ended my mute phase.
Hey, when you remember these things, think of yourself fondly. You said yourself you learned from it and grew out of it. Don’t be down on yourself about it - “What a cringey kid I was,” but forgiving. “I was a weird kid. I mean I still am, but I got better.”
Remembering stuff warps the memory, taints it with how you feel at the moment. so don’t continue to beat yourself up. Be nicer to you. That self-forgivness and kindness will pay off.
Aw how nice of you :D
Yeah this story is so long ago. I don’t have as many flashbacks anymore. When I do I usually yell:
“Memories of the past, let me be!”
Seems to work.
As an adult, I find people appreciate me more when I speak less. If I don’t say much, speak slowly, and only open my mouth when the conversation will be improved by it, I tend to be well liked.
The more someone really gets to know me, the less they tend to like me. I think. My wife tells me people like me a lot, but I don’t really see any evidence of that. I think I’m just easy to tolerate.
As to the subject of cringe memories, I have a whole litany I run through every time my brain tries telling me I’m a shit person. No real advice there other than the worst cringe memories were formative for me, making sure I never felt that humiliation again.