

Been there. Accepted
To answer your questions though, I suggest the non-Cosmic version of Pop!OS. (and switch to wayland if it’s not the default yet- not sure, I’ve had this install for YEARS) It’s a good blend of “just works” and “up to date enough” to run anything, and I recommend steering well clear of Arch. I’ve been using Linux for a decade and I’ve always found a way to whoopsie it into a broken state. That’s a “me problem” yes, but if I can fudge it up that easily and I have experience using it, I think it’s unsuitable to recommend to anyone.
Most people live in a web browser- does it really matter if the desktop environment isn’t riced enough or isn’t windows-ey enough? That said, it takes actual hackery to make any version of Windows usable these days, so I’ll forgive a distro not being “absolutely elite” for someone’s preferences. Let’s not compare Linux forums to Windows forums, where no-one has ever, I repeat ever received ANY useful advice besides reinstalling their Windows, am I right?
I do the same, but I exclude the “feeling guilty” part.