Cheap computer monitor works well for me.

If there was, I’m not sure you would be allowed to post there.

If abusers were mean 24/7, they wouldn’t have access to victims.

Domestic violence research shows a “honeymoon” cycle. Abuse escalates to a breaking point, then the abusers relents, becomes especially kind and showy (especially in public.)

It’s the “trauma bond” (not the false pop-psych understanding “we experienced something traumatic together and that brought us closer”) but that abusers manipulate that intensity of emotion to create a sort of “addiction.”

You get used to the highs and the lows. Being hit and then the next day at a nice restaurant. The sexual abuse and the trips to Disneyland. It’s supposed to fuck with your head. It’s supposed to make it harder to leave.

You shouldn’t just want a relationship to have a relationship. Women are human beings like you are - they have the same kinds of thoughts and feelings and ambitions that you do.

Long term relationships are about finding someone that you enjoy spending time with. It’s a project and partnership. You want someone whose goals are aligned with yours.

Just “wanting a relationship” to want one is an unhealthy place to start. You get so fixated on the idea of being completed by checking the box, that you’ll overlook all of those red flags and aspects you can’t deal with.

A much better alternative, that will lead to what you ultimately want and what will benefit you, is leading a fulfilling life that will draw potential partners to you. Go join a hiking group, take art classes, see if your library has a book club. Things that benefit you regardless of whether you get the girl or not.

Consider what you offer to potential partners - what benefit is there to being in a relationship with you? What do you envision doing with a partner (other than sex?)

And very strongly consider what you want from a “family” before starting one. Don’t just have children because that’s the societal expectation - have children because you want them and will love them and care for them.

My billionaire ex’s family loved truffle oil on shit at restaurants. Rich does not equal taste at all.