As others have said, one’s view of Lemmy is highly dependent upon the instances and communities that one frequents. As someone who isn’t a habitué of politics, news, sport or meme communities, I’ve found my fellow lemmings to be pleasant, but I also believe that that is due to trying to be helpful and polite myself and being willing to apologize when warranted.

This would be a great Kagi lens (https://help.kagi.com/kagi/features/lenses.html ), perhaps for the Fediverse generally, rather than just for Lemmy. They already have one for Reddit, as well as a ‘small web’ one focused on small sites and non-commercial material.