You are the tomato at the bottom of the produce drawer, greeting the new groceries

Your friend tried to get you to try new pizza toppings, but you only like pepperoni so you picked off everything else.

You’re a soil scientist that replicated an important study about erosion and fault lines.

That damn mosquito kept you awake all night.

You had an eye exam and couldn’t even read the first line because you’re legally blind.

Your career as a crash test dummy was exciting, but brief

You discovered that Nicole the Fediverse Chick isn’t really a Polish girl from Toronto

You discovered that Hell is real, but only Muppets have souls and can go there

You just realized that it wasn’t really Microsoft technical support that you gave root access to on discuss.online

You and @[email protected] had the greatest romance of all time:

https://discuss.online/post/17496263/14542411

You got distracted at an orgy, looked around, and realized that everyone was facing away from you

There’s no AI behind chatgpt, it’s just you typing really fast, and this is what it looks like when you’re busy.

You spent the week being a fabulous person and a productive member of society and you are not behind me right now as I type this

(from earlier in 2024)

Or did ecstasy take me? 🤔

This may cheer you up:

I lost my mind

Fine presidential material right there 🫡

She just found out that it’s legal to drink ketchup straight from the bottle