I can’t explain it fully but since couple of years I have this constant feeling that something big is about to happen that is going to change everything.
It’s a bit like being a WW1 soldier waiting in the trenches for an inevitable attack that doesn’t come.
I have adhd so I know the ‘waiting mode’ and this is sort of similar. Honestly I just want it to happen already so we can get this over with no matter what it is.
There is this atmosphere that no matter what you plan for or what you intend to do will ultimately not matter because of some future big changes.
It’s really annoying and only fully cured temporarily by brain muddying amount of weed or to a lesser extent various absorbing hobbies. Or making many hasty and bold decisions in spirit of “now or never”.
Maddening stuff to be honest. I hope whatever must happen will get on with itself already and rather sooner than later.
In a typical trial of some kind, if I didn’t have proof or couldn’t get it, I would refuse to act in a way that had negative ramifications for everyone, not just use intuition as a tiebreaker. The last time I was consulted over a conflict, one person said another person scammed them via an art scam and the second person denied it. Knowing that, somehow, the first person did indeed lose what she said she lost, whether or not at the hands of a scam, I was more than glad to refill what they had lost out of my own pocket, especially as an alternative to interpreting what actually went on between them.
I think that is also a decision. In your ruling you punished yourself out of three options. That was viable then because the amount of money was small but if the money in question was millions of dollars it wouldn’t be feasible for the judge to pay out of pocket.
If it was millions of dollars, I would take no action whatsoever. It would still be preferable over purely intuitive decision-making.