I can’t explain it fully but since couple of years I have this constant feeling that something big is about to happen that is going to change everything.
It’s a bit like being a WW1 soldier waiting in the trenches for an inevitable attack that doesn’t come.
I have adhd so I know the ‘waiting mode’ and this is sort of similar. Honestly I just want it to happen already so we can get this over with no matter what it is.
There is this atmosphere that no matter what you plan for or what you intend to do will ultimately not matter because of some future big changes.
It’s really annoying and only fully cured temporarily by brain muddying amount of weed or to a lesser extent various absorbing hobbies. Or making many hasty and bold decisions in spirit of “now or never”.
Maddening stuff to be honest. I hope whatever must happen will get on with itself already and rather sooner than later.
ADHD here. Also tons of formal education in international relations and foreign policy. I have felt this for years now, too. It’s not depression or anxiety either. I closely work with multiple doctors and I have a psychiatrist for my ADHD. This feeling is directly due to knowing that this will break some way, some how.
ADHD/AuADHDers have been statistically and scientifically found by doctors to accurately see big picture trends well before the general population. I keep track of my predictions informally and my gut is pretty much never wrong about foreign affairs.
For reference, I bought masks Jan 2020 because I follow international news and saw China locking down. I knew COVID would be big. Also hit the grocery stores a week before official lockdown and leaned on my chef background to shore up basic supplies. I remember two days before lockdown started officially, telling a normie friend that we might lose up to 1.2 million in COVID if we handle it poorly. Which proved right—unfortunately. My area’s supply chain was fucked for over a year and we were fighting over single bags of flour and rotten vegetables. Hospitals overrun. Ravaged our small county.
I don’t have any advice except that you’re not alone. My other stable well educated ADHDers agree (we are also all lawyers). We can’t do anything except wait, focus on our families, and build a solid community in the meantime.
I could have written almost the same comment. Another neurodivergent here, I also seem to be susceptible to the subtle currents and patterns of the world and society. Sad to say that I’ve been feeling that kind of pressure for most of my life - like the Yeats poem says, the centre cannot hold. The society we inherited has often not made sense to me, and I have a need to understand cause and effect.
FYI another neurodivergent who is this way is Katherine May. She writes about the experience in her book ‘the electricity of all living things’.
Sames about covid too. I’m not an epidemiologist but was telling people to wear masks from the beginning, long before we were advised to wear them, actually when we were told categorically not to wear them. I can’t tell you exactly how I knew, but I was researching covid (hyperfocus) from when I first heard of it - long before it was in the news here in the UK. I believe my brain collates information and sorts it into hierarchies, which i often can ‘see’ but there are also flashes of insight. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you. Solidarity.
I was working for a grocery chain and in late December of 2019 management was quietly suggesting that employees stock up on paper products as this disease in China was supposed to be bad. We knew the supply of paper products was already tight due to the fire at a local paper plant that made a lot of toilet paper for NY/New Jersey and Connecticut. That forewarning saved my family so much stress.
This is really interesting, but hoe can you be sure your “gut” isn’t deeply influenced by whatever media you consume?
Oh it absolutely is. I’m not immune to propaganda or missing information. But that’s always part of the calculation. Sorry for the novel in advance.
I don’t make hard conclusions like a doomsday prophet. It’s about constantly consuming data from all places and keeping everything “on the table” mentally. I try to expand my ability to consume quality sources of information as best I can—to the point of learning additional languages to be able to read primary sources.
What’s the worst case scenario if my hunch is *right* about COVID being big in Jan 2020? 1.2 milllion people die. Hospitals over run so basic services won’t be available if you have other emergencies. Supply chain falters and food scarcity climbs.
What happens if I was *wrong* about COVID in Jan 2020? The worst case is I had some masks I needed anyway and a few bags of flour and some cans of food I’d use up over the year.
Being grounded in the reality and likelihood of being wrong is key to choosing an optimized response. There—what I needed to do was pretty reasonable and didn’t cost much versus the alternative (possibly death—which many of my relatives and friends died or were hospitalized).
I also read bad sources of information purposefully. This is mostly to keep tabs on political narrative and drawing rough timelines of when news hits and spin drops. I have a degree in political science and international relations and I do this constantly and habitually. I watch this across the political spectrum, across countries, from as much varied media that I can manage.
Hard data is becoming more difficult to source in America. Which is why I started learning German to read primary sources from Germans. I have a background in science and statistics as well. So, I try to use everything I have to my advantage. I basically never stop reading history, science, politics, foreign affairs, philosophy—everything.
My desire for knowledge and to flip the world and human systems inside out is absolutely insatiable. I will never be finished or done understanding and knowing. I will never stop asking questions. Why? It’s partly why I’ve had so many careers. I just want to know how everything in our universe *works*.
The other trick is knowing what you know and what you don’t know. Always stay flexible so you can pivot. Always know that your current understanding could be wrong and that you’ll never have complete information. Constantly looking for data or information to flip or go against your current understanding. Scientific process as a way of life in every facet.
For an example: I knew that the housing pricing spike from 2021 to 2023-ish was not a normal real estate trend. I was watching and fielding real estate data on the markets across the US (something I have done casually for about 25 years). I could tell the spike as being driven by *something* large and consistent across America.
Why is everyone buying and scrambling all of the sudden and all at once? I knew I was missing information.
At first I questioned whether or not it was being driven by people taking out a second loan/mortgage on their primary house to take advantage of the low interest rates. I could see that happening in some places. But I knew that it couldn’t be the primary driver for every house purchase. So then I knew: I was absolutely missing something. Something big. But knew I didn’t have the ability to collect or find that missing information either. Because I did go looking for it. So, I did all I could do. I waited.
In hindsight, the answer is now easy. I was right about knowing I was missing something. I was missing the influx of PPP cash. And an additional cool billion in PPP loan fraud. Not all the houses were bought with fraudulent money, but *a lot* were. And the rest were bought with legitimate PPP money—enough to cause a feeding frenzy and rock the market. That was the missing driver.
After figuring that out, I followed and watched the charges roll in for the PPP fraudsters. I read all the published reports on that data. And so on.
Basically, I’m an attractive/normal looking human who is also a neurodivergent weirdo. My drive and ability is not something I chose; it’s just my congenital disability. I have a min max build that’s backed up by over 100 pages of psychiatric tests and almost three decades testing and retesting by specialized doctors.
There are trade offs. I have almost no sense of time minute by minute. I mean that literally. I have very little ability to create habits. Most people are able to do the same thing every morning—I can’t. One benefit (in my case) for being divergent (with the immense benefits of having a plush start in life, raw intelligence, and an Ivy-equivalent European education): I am hyper focused on big picture and my strongest skill is strategic planning. This is what I do *for fun*.
Not all of us neurodivergents are as lucky as I am. I am admittedly also very lucky.
If you’re not geared this way, it’s totally fine. But if not, I’m sure you can appreciate that just as it’s probably hard for you to imagine how some people can see big picture, it’s just as hard for me to imagine how you manage to brush your teeth at the same time every morning. Or know how long you’ve been doing something. We all have abilities that come more naturally to us. This happens to be mine.
Very insightful read, thanks! I’m not (as per my self diagnosis) neurodivergent but I’m also very curious about a lot of things, although I tend to get bored rather easily. I also probably lack life experience as I’m in my mid twenties so some trends might pass me by.
Another curiosity: do you have a curated list of sources for reading or read whatever comes at hand? Are you automatizing any of your flow for consuming and interpreting data?
How is your stock market portfolio?
It’s clear that the deranged criminal scum now running the US have big plans, yes. And it won’t be good for the vast majority of people.
I’m too exhausted to feel the impending doom after living in it for 3 years now. I just get mildly annoyed at drones exploding over my city at 3 AM because it distracts me from my Overwatch game.
My GF feels this way. She thinks that because she is brown that it will not be good for her. I understand as best as I can. I know she feels that because I am white that I don’t fully comprehend how it will turn out for her or any other brow person. I do. I am panicking inside all the time. I try to remain calm for her but it does not seem to be working. Her newest idea is to dell all her stuff and get an RV stay on the road. I have tried to explain to her how unsafe that is from a strategic safety point of view. That her cell phone is being tracked at all times just by pinging the towers. She is in deep panic mode and I can’t help her. But you are right. Something is going to happen and I don’t know what it is or how to prepare for what is coming.
The last part is a bit alarming and her plans don’t fit the current situation whether she’s a minority or not. Unless she’s actively in jeopardy of being targeted by ICE, then she probably isn’t immediately at risk.
I think we are all bound on path for war. But preparation for that still needs to be realistic. It’s always good to ask ourselves what are we preparing for in the immediacy. Right now is a time for building friendships and strong community networks. Maybe planning for food shortage (but not famine) if in a food desert. It’s reasonable to consider locking down owned and disconnecting from techbro corporate run entities (hey, we are already on the fediverse).
But roaming in an RV is well beyond the current climate unless you guys are actually crossing with Homeland Security regularly or something. She’s right to worry and her fears are not unfounded but the solutions are disconnected. There might be a little more at play there.
Either way, I wish you both peace and safety. We all deserve personal security and refuge even in the worst of times.
Given everything that has been going on here in the US, and how quickly and boldly it is happening, I think your feeling is justified. And I don’t think it’s far-fetched to think that something is going to happen within the next 3 years. And it’s going to, in some way, be global. Like someone said before me, now is the time to build community and network and be as prepared as we can be for whatever it is.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strauss–Howe_generational_theory
This is by far my favorite “conspiracy theory”. Smells like bs, and yet… it hangs together in my gut a bit, you know? I don’t exactly buy it, but I don’t exactly not buy it either.
Thanks for sharing, I have felt the “Personalities” of different generations and can see the shifts.
However I don’t think we can see far enough in time to assign archetypes to them. Or if there even would be.
Yes, then I started reducing my online time significantly and it went almost away.
I read a lot of news and watch videos, and im on here from time to time, so the feeling didn’t go away completely.
But maybe ive just started accepting that it’s ineviteble, so I can handle it better by now.
I mean, it’s obvious that only some very lucky circumstances can prevent us from really dark times, and even in the best circumstances where fascism is prevented and defeated, and common people will get out on top over billionaires, everything will get worse for us for a long time before it gets better.
The thing is I don’t think it is all doom and gloom. I am not scared or afraid of the future whether I should be or not.
It’s like some kind of tension that is progressively stretching the reality until it restructures. It’s not yet red hot but it is easily felt.
It’s like some kind of tension that is progressively stretching the reality until it restructures.
Sometimes I wake up and feel like I must’ve shifted into a parrarel universes that night. It’s nothing I could point out, but things feel different for some reason.
I don’t even believe in the concept of parrarel universes.
Tensions are high every where on the world, not just on the battlefield or between governments, but between workmates, neighbours and family.
It takes a toll on us, and were living in a time where we consume endless Information and the least of it is positive, and some of it not even true. We havent had a summer hole for quite some time now.
I think our brains fail to make sense of it all and to turn it into a compelling story, so we’re feeling weird and confused and change our Outlook as a result.
Also, it’s taxing to get hopes destroyed year after year and have to reassamble into a functioning Person once again.
It’s a lot of things that lead to it, but Im sure a lot of people feel similar.
Yes, but I’ve felt this way for quite a while. It’s not recent. I think it has to do not only with personal family stuff, but also national and world systems, and most especially climate change. All stuff that has been going off the rails or threatening to. Also ADHD here.
By the way, this movie may be of interest to some of you, as it deals with this kind of feeling (a little more dramatized and specific for the story, but it portrays the feeling of impending doom fairly well, I think): Take Shelter (2011)
I don’t think I’ve had a proper gut feeling before. I couldn’t tell you what that feels like.
It’s like when you feel something bad about someone for example and can’t explain why because there is no reason and after a while it turns out they diddle kids
Or maybe you have to pick two options that are equally good or bad theoretically but you feel better about one of them
That moment when you have a feeling someone is angry or sad even though it would be hard to pinpoint how you know it
Do you ever accommodate to the receiving end of all this? Like I can’t imagine that someone might be ghosted but not be able to ask about what they’re being punished for without the answer being “because I feel like I should”. Made worse if people were to make false or inaccurate allegations based on misunderstood communications which fill the void of “why” people might get that feeling (I have witnessed instances of people hating someone, then having a reason to hate someone, then that reason turning out to be false after all but with mixed feelings still in the air because they were pre-existing). I’d be lying if I said I didn’t say this from experience. As someone who considers herself someone who improves herself when necessitated, how do I self-reflect on “it was the vibes”?
That’s why autism is so hard when people often use this kind of sense as their ultimate guidance, at least during first meeting.
However you can figure out more consciously how to spot certain people also those that have the neurodivergent feels about them and learn consciously that they aren’t a danger or some plague and what their needs and obstacles are and why they behave differently.I have an impression though that not that many people are willing to do so or even know how many different people exist and their possible troubles that make them maybe look and behave a bit odd.
As always education I guess. People should just get to know various other people and then these problems will cease to be. Older people have vastly more accurate feelings and judgments or withhold them long enough.Knowledge about people together with gut instinct works much better. Then you also know why you feel that way and can judge better if you should listen to it or not.
It must sound super stupid and like pure nonsense to asd ppl for example from what I gathered who fundamentally think differently about it altogether but people really do use this thing daily everywhere from business to college parties. It’s like dogs smelling one another and it does take some effort from everyone to have the right smell
I mean after all apparently people emit some kind of pheromones. Guys look at girls differently based on something as invisible as hormone levels. It’s not that strange that after many years of evolution we are super perceptive to social details
I wouldn’t blame someone for not betting on it though. There is a reason people in activism often speak of unconscious bias/prejudice. Many people in the psychic industry have done something people would say is similar to this in order to, say, conclude who committed a murder, to determine if Amanda Barry is still alive, to determine who would become a president or prime minister, or, in my best friend’ case, to determine who is asexual because they have an acedar (or GP-ace or whatever people call the asexual equivalent to gaydar, though it hasn’t always been right).
In a world where we are constantly warned not to self-diagnose (let alone diagnose others) based on how things “come off”, as someone who has been a victim of mass judgment based on intuition (as well as second-hand, since many people are mistaken as me based on the same whim, and every time, it’s always proven to have been premature), I shake my head at the idea of significant verdicts made by the masses being made on nothing more than a whim, and shake my head even more when this turns out to be false and people either do or don’t outright specify that it was because they “had a feeling”. For such things, especially when it means avoiding something like the Salem witch trials, I for one want to look at every nook and cranny, as I believe in due process and seeing things for myself.
In overwhelming majority of practical cases you can’t look under every nook and cranny. You must use the gut feeling in some way or another.
For example you can only tell if someone is sane and a good fit for you in relationship after like a year of living together yes? But you don’t get to have some kind of trial year or something you must use your gut feeling to tell if someone seems okay.
It’s very important thing in society as else nothing could ever be done in a reasonable amount of time. It fails sometimes though but that doesn’t mean it should be rejected as we literally cannot function without approximations and first glance judgments
It must suck to be at the anomaly end of this social heuristics and I sympathise but otherwise social algorithm would be of exponential complexity. Way too much for a limited lifespan of 80 years and even shorter kids making and dating window.
We cannot replace the heuristics but we can strive to make them better by education and knowledge.
In a typical trial of some kind, if I didn’t have proof or couldn’t get it, I would refuse to act in a way that had negative ramifications for everyone, not just use intuition as a tiebreaker. The last time I was consulted over a conflict, one person said another person scammed them via an art scam and the second person denied it. Knowing that, somehow, the first person did indeed lose what she said she lost, whether or not at the hands of a scam, I was more than glad to refill what they had lost out of my own pocket, especially as an alternative to interpreting what actually went on between them.
I think that is also a decision. In your ruling you punished yourself out of three options. That was viable then because the amount of money was small but if the money in question was millions of dollars it wouldn’t be feasible for the judge to pay out of pocket.
