I can’t explain it fully but since couple of years I have this constant feeling that something big is about to happen that is going to change everything.
It’s a bit like being a WW1 soldier waiting in the trenches for an inevitable attack that doesn’t come.
I have adhd so I know the ‘waiting mode’ and this is sort of similar. Honestly I just want it to happen already so we can get this over with no matter what it is.
There is this atmosphere that no matter what you plan for or what you intend to do will ultimately not matter because of some future big changes.
It’s really annoying and only fully cured temporarily by brain muddying amount of weed or to a lesser extent various absorbing hobbies. Or making many hasty and bold decisions in spirit of “now or never”.
Maddening stuff to be honest. I hope whatever must happen will get on with itself already and rather sooner than later.
Do you ever accommodate to the receiving end of all this? Like I can’t imagine that someone might be ghosted but not be able to ask about what they’re being punished for without the answer being “because I feel like I should”. Made worse if people were to make false or inaccurate allegations based on misunderstood communications which fill the void of “why” people might get that feeling (I have witnessed instances of people hating someone, then having a reason to hate someone, then that reason turning out to be false after all but with mixed feelings still in the air because they were pre-existing). I’d be lying if I said I didn’t say this from experience. As someone who considers herself someone who improves herself when necessitated, how do I self-reflect on “it was the vibes”?
That’s why autism is so hard when people often use this kind of sense as their ultimate guidance, at least during first meeting.
However you can figure out more consciously how to spot certain people also those that have the neurodivergent feels about them and learn consciously that they aren’t a danger or some plague and what their needs and obstacles are and why they behave differently.
I have an impression though that not that many people are willing to do so or even know how many different people exist and their possible troubles that make them maybe look and behave a bit odd.
As always education I guess. People should just get to know various other people and then these problems will cease to be. Older people have vastly more accurate feelings and judgments or withhold them long enough.
Knowledge about people together with gut instinct works much better. Then you also know why you feel that way and can judge better if you should listen to it or not.
It must sound super stupid and like pure nonsense to asd ppl for example from what I gathered who fundamentally think differently about it altogether but people really do use this thing daily everywhere from business to college parties. It’s like dogs smelling one another and it does take some effort from everyone to have the right smell
I mean after all apparently people emit some kind of pheromones. Guys look at girls differently based on something as invisible as hormone levels. It’s not that strange that after many years of evolution we are super perceptive to social details
I wouldn’t blame someone for not betting on it though. There is a reason people in activism often speak of unconscious bias/prejudice. Many people in the psychic industry have done something people would say is similar to this in order to, say, conclude who committed a murder, to determine if Amanda Barry is still alive, to determine who would become a president or prime minister, or, in my best friend’ case, to determine who is asexual because they have an acedar (or GP-ace or whatever people call the asexual equivalent to gaydar, though it hasn’t always been right).
In a world where we are constantly warned not to self-diagnose (let alone diagnose others) based on how things “come off”, as someone who has been a victim of mass judgment based on intuition (as well as second-hand, since many people are mistaken as me based on the same whim, and every time, it’s always proven to have been premature), I shake my head at the idea of significant verdicts made by the masses being made on nothing more than a whim, and shake my head even more when this turns out to be false and people either do or don’t outright specify that it was because they “had a feeling”. For such things, especially when it means avoiding something like the Salem witch trials, I for one want to look at every nook and cranny, as I believe in due process and seeing things for myself.
In overwhelming majority of practical cases you can’t look under every nook and cranny. You must use the gut feeling in some way or another.
For example you can only tell if someone is sane and a good fit for you in relationship after like a year of living together yes? But you don’t get to have some kind of trial year or something you must use your gut feeling to tell if someone seems okay.
It’s very important thing in society as else nothing could ever be done in a reasonable amount of time. It fails sometimes though but that doesn’t mean it should be rejected as we literally cannot function without approximations and first glance judgments
It must suck to be at the anomaly end of this social heuristics and I sympathise but otherwise social algorithm would be of exponential complexity. Way too much for a limited lifespan of 80 years and even shorter kids making and dating window.
We cannot replace the heuristics but we can strive to make them better by education and knowledge.
In a typical trial of some kind, if I didn’t have proof or couldn’t get it, I would refuse to act in a way that had negative ramifications for everyone, not just use intuition as a tiebreaker. The last time I was consulted over a conflict, one person said another person scammed them via an art scam and the second person denied it. Knowing that, somehow, the first person did indeed lose what she said she lost, whether or not at the hands of a scam, I was more than glad to refill what they had lost out of my own pocket, especially as an alternative to interpreting what actually went on between them.
I think that is also a decision. In your ruling you punished yourself out of three options. That was viable then because the amount of money was small but if the money in question was millions of dollars it wouldn’t be feasible for the judge to pay out of pocket.
If it was millions of dollars, I would take no action whatsoever. It would still be preferable over purely intuitive decision-making.