• PieMePlenty@lemmy.world
    8·
    6 hours ago

    Maybe it needs a connection cause it takes a picture of your feces and sends it to an AI analysis service. If anomalies are detected, it tells you that you should take the stool sample to a laboratory for further study, then lets you flush. Poof, smart toilet. I could see people with too much money buying this.

    Edit: Thought about it some more… why stop at feces images? Why not also have a high resolution camera pointed at your anus taking crowning shots and analyzing those. Tell users if anythings wrong. The future is bright brown boys. The future is brown.

    Edit2: You could even have motion based security… alert if anyone broke in through your bathroom. Cameras in toilets people! What could go wrong?

    Edit3: Hear me out. User controlled bidet mode + anus camera. Take out your phone and clean your ass in first person. Score points if you clean your whole ass and compete on an online scoreboard. Tech sure is amazing.

    • Rakonat@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      4 hours ago

      There is no reason it needs an always on connection for this. Even if there was a camera in the bowl taking pictures of poo (which raises so many privacy questions), the device could easily save hundreds of HD+ quality picture (assuming a toilet camera had that resolution) and send them next time connection is secure.

      Always online functionality only makes sense when the function itself is an online task such as a video call or looking up information not saved locally.

      Having an always online connection for a toilet suggest it’s gathering much more information passively from your home, using voice activated as a cover to always be listening and thus relaying what it records to server/data center to be filtered through for marketable or exploitable data.

      • PieMePlenty@lemmy.world
        1·
        3 hours ago

        Toilet’s chipset is only good for network connection and video recording. Business logic is on servers. As I said, users want to know if their shit is good before they flush so they dont lose a sample in case it is bad.

        You may have stumbled on multiplayer shitting though. Conference call with random strangers on the internet, biggest splashback, fastest bowel movement… endless possibilities. Yeah I think always online is the best course of action here.

  • LovableSidekick@lemmy.worldEnglish
    42·
    15 hours ago

    Making “smart” devices that can’t do routine mundane things without an active internet connection is completely fucking stupid.

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
    141·
    14 hours ago

    Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite

    Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this

    • JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
      2·
      5 hours ago

      I mean, it could be. Imagine getting a push notification when it overflows. The lowest pipe in my house is a toilet. Luckily my wife was nearby but it could’ve gone worse if we didn’t see for a bit.

      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        5 hours ago

        This is a job for water detectors, which I have no qualms about connecting to the internet. They have the added benefit of detecting leaky pipes as well

    • Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world
      3·
      12 hours ago

      Sure but I’m also all for innovating and watching these things fail. Isn’t there a value in letting dumb rich people with money waste their wealth on dumb ideas. It keeps them from doing things like buying Twitter

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      5·
      14 hours ago

      I’m kind of far away fyom being a luddite, senior software developer, codes for fun, builds electronic stuff with wifi etc.

      My toilet was built and installed before internet was invented and will not be changed for anything smart, neither is my toaster, dish washer, stove, locks, etc. etc. Ever. Over my dead body (if you want to be disinherited).

  • kamen@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    18 hours ago

    Okay, I get the idea of smart AC for example - be elsewhere, turn it on remotely so that it’s comfortable when you get home. Fine. But a toilet? You are physically present there, you can push a button to flush. Or are you telling me that you’re shitting remotely now too?

    • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      17 hours ago

      Wait, so you’re not subscribed to shitme™? For a low monthly subscription they send you a sealed, self-addressed and postage-paid container to deposit your feces in, it gets sent to a sorting facility and distributed via drones or delivery drivers directly to your home toilet, where the feces are flushed in the privacy and safety of your own home! The peace-of-mind alone is worth the $39.98 a month. Up until now, the only challenge has been flushing the toilet while you’re still at the office, this way you NEVER have to go home!

    • DerArzt@lemmy.world
      3·
      18 hours ago

      you’re shitting remotely now too?

      Do we tell them about the remote shit technology that just landed from Uranus?

    • TheHotze@lemmy.world
      2·
      14 hours ago

      Hands free means you don’t have to touch the handle with dirty hands, but you can do that with a motion sensor too.

    • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.eeEnglish
      2·
      17 hours ago

      I can see some purpose in having a ‘smart’ toilet for monitoring health. Your pee and poo can have some value in seeing if there anything that needs to be dealt with medically. But even that is difficult to do. For one thing, it must still function ad a toilet first before anything. Meaning it uses the simple mechanical flushing and refilling and stopping when it is sufficiently full.

      However for this the analysis and storage of data must be 100% at the user’s control. If they want it gone. It is gone. Irrecoverable. Any update must be done via USB or other connection. No wifi or internet.

      And even then the analysis can be off for obvious reasons. People need to scrub their toilets and some keep it clean by having one of those pucks in the tank that sanitize the water. All of these can interfere with any results out of a medical setting.

      • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world
        1·
        10 hours ago

        Yeah but if they let users control the data then how are they supposed to sell it to insurance companies to boost their value to VCs???

    • ace_of_based@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      2·
      18 hours ago

      You’re already @ the mf toilet too, or the sink. what is even the purported purpose of remotely activating something you have to stand there to use?

  • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    19 hours ago

    And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).

    These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.

  • SGG@lemmy.worldEnglish
    34·
    1 day ago

    I’ve put a few smart lights/switches/sensors/power points in at home. Definitely helps mum as we can have wireless switches for the lights, and motion sensors to turn the hallway lights on automatically as well.

    For ALL of them, I make sure there is a manual control that will work as a backup regardless. Even if a smart light is “off” due to the motion sensor not detecting movement, all you need to do is turn the old regular light switch off then back on and the light will default to being back on.

  • pyre@lemmy.world
    31·
    1 day ago

    I don’t think any of these people know what “smart” is supposed to mean cause these must be the dumbest ideas for any product I’ve heard so far.

    • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
      30·
      1 day ago

      ‘Smart’ means it can send your lifestyle data to the company, and make you dependent on their services.

      You want to change your toilet provider? Best of luck holding your poo in for three days while the transfer is processed.